In Search of Happiness

First of all, I pray that the victims of cyclone in Myanmar may soon receive their aid.  That relevant authorities may open up and allow the help to reach its proper destination.

I’ve been teaching (a lil’ bit) self defense to my friends (though not sure whether they really take it seriously / will be useful for them). It makes me aware of the difference between martial arts and self defense. Let me give you some elaboration:

Any self defense technique must fulfil these following criteria:
1. Must reach its goals (whether killing / subduing / knocking out) in quick and simple manner.
2. Maximum damage, minimum effort.
3. Effective against both small and big opponents.
4. Must be easily learned.
5. Takes into account ‘real life’ situation (e.g.: strength, speed, size)

While martial arts techniques:
1. Goes beyond physical combat, most martial arts system is a spiritual path for its practitioners.
2. Must be effective in combat (cannot bull-sh*t moves)
3. Beauty, in the form of precision and depth of the techniques.

Of course the list can go on.

As for HOW martial arts can be a form of spirtual path, it is interesting to note that the root of asian martial arts is from china, especially Shiaolin in Shong Shan (mountain). Bodidharma, an Indian monk, brought Buddhism to China, and because they need to sit still for long hours, the monks were thought breathing and physical exercises, which later developed into a fighting system. Also for the monks who did their meditation in the forests, physical defense against wild animals and robbers were necessary. From there was born Japanese martial arts together with the spread of Zen Buddhism to Japan.

A declaration of transformation of fighting system into martial arts is obvious in Japan, the changing of ‘jutsu’ (technique) to ‘do’ (way). From ‘jujutsu’ which is the un-armed technique against heavily armored opponents, into ‘judo’ (literally translated as the ‘gentle way’) which is a martial art based on the philosophy that the gentle overcomes the rigid.

The same goes with:
- ‘kenjutsu’ using katana sword to cut the opponent at the weak spots of the armor; into ‘kendo’ in which the target areas are actually protected by armor, it trains the warrior spirit only.
- ‘kyujutsu’, the art of archery, in which you want to strike the target, into ‘kyudo’, the way of archery, in which whether you strike the target or not, it is not important, as long as you find the stillness in you. (one quote from a kyudo master, "Sometimes you hit the target but miss the self.")
- ‘aikijutsu’ to ‘aikido’, this one I haven’t I understood yet

In summary, perhaps the pinacle of martial arts as a spiritual path lies in the love for your opponent. You don’t kill your opponent. Shioda Gozo, Aikido master once said, "The strongest technique in Aikido is you make friends with the one who comes to kill you." With love for your opponent, you harmonize your energy with his (or her) attack that the conflict is resolved with both parties unhurt.

Hahaha enough for the deep thoughts, now time for some updates:

- Been watching ‘Fight Quest’ and ‘Body Weapon’. Both series are about a pair of fighters who go around the world to learn their native martial arts / fighting systems and within one week fight with one of the experts in that art. It is interesting to note the diversity of the techniques and philosophy / culture, BUT MOST INTERESTINGLY, THE TECHNIQUES ARE STRIKINGLY SIMILAR! A throw in Judo ( o soto gari - outer reap throw) is also practiced in Silat, in Savate, in Krav Maga, in Sambo. Is this what Carl Jung said of ‘collective consciousness’?

- Been trying to do my IA report, which to no avail… hix :’( No motivation, perhaps I need some adrenalin pumping to force my brain to work!

- Still not sure whether I receive a fair treatment in my IA…

- This afternoon, my computer’s power supply went off again. The previous one was just end of March. The sad part was I was in the midst of watching movies instead of doing my report (Bad boy!). Which made me think that we only appreciate something after we lost it. As the computer went I regretted not doing my report… Well, so… (drum rolls) appreciate whatever that you have NOW, be it your health, your work, friends and family, your possesions, so when tey are gone, you can say that, "yup, at that time I’ve lived at the moment, no regret."

- Supposed to take my third kyu grading this morning, but the sensei said that he made a mistake with the certificate so the grading has to be postponed… He said that right after I handed him the grading fee. I’m a lil’ bit in some monetary tension here, so it was like an ‘ouch’. I was rather disappointed. But again, well, gradings are just ranks, what counts in the end is your technique.

Perhaps that’s all… By 23rd of May, I’d have submitted my IA report, my log book, the grades from my company supervisor, by then I’ll be a free man! And then time to go home on the 8th of June :)

God bless! Happy Pentecost (for those who are celebrating)

On friday, during a conversation with a friend, I realised that for many of my actions, I expected that the other party would respond (favourably), so it was my own self that I tried to please, eventhough on the outside, my actions seemed to be for the other party…

Perhaps, this is what it means to be sincere: To do something sincerely means that the action taken must be motivated inwardly, and that motivation alone is enough reason for the action. There is no waiting for responses / outcomes for it to be "succesful" or "worthy". To sincerely be kind to someone means that to wish for that person’s happiness only, and nothing else. No returning the favour, no praises / affirmations.

In ‘zen’ term, it also means to focus only on the present, on the action taken, instead of the future (the future reward).

I asked my friend who is very active in ministry, that she has been serving others because God loves her, but if hypothetically God doesn’t  love her, whether she would be still serving others…

Of course a hypothetical question does not require a hypothetical answer in return

Perhaps this is what sincerity means, to love others regardless whether others love you back. Whether it is a family member, that special someone, a project, a vocation, a sacrifice. That the internal motivation alone is enough reason and reward for the action taken.

So, for many of my actions that had been ’self-seeking’, I would like to apologise. I hope it is not too late, that though the actions have been taken, that now the attitude has changed. I wish for your happiness only. And that only.

"Let love be sincere" Romans 12: 9. (Let love be without any pretence - The New Jerusalem Bible translation).

"Let … be sincere" (Fill in the blank yourself. Bobby 12: 9)

Perhaps it’s time for some updates…

This week has been good, Thursday was a public holiday, no more chasing deadline for abstract submission, my supervisor treated us lunch, I went to Cytology and Histopathology Labs, saw 2 real placentas, a disected left mammary gland, some cervixes, the whole of femur (thigh bone), finally hold a real katana (samurai sword), downloaded South Park (I still think it is one of the most genius cartoon ever) Season 11 and 12 after missing them for around a year now and many more I cannot mentioned here

As for the title of the post, it is a spoof of the book "The Monk Whos Sold His Ferrari". It was heavily recommended by my uncle (an avid Reiki practicioner) and one of my friends. When I got hold of the eBook, I was very happy, because I thought finally there is a story about someone who really is able to forsake the world for spiritual gain… But until I reach the 7th chapter, I was rather disappointed. First of all, it is just a fable. It is a story. Perhaps there was never the monk who sold his car. Perhaps, once you are rich enough to own a ferrari, you wouldn’t want to be a monk. Secondly, as the book progresses I sensed that it is just another self-help, quick-fixes, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) type of books. Not a diary of an enlightened person. Well, I shall reserve my judgement, maintain my objectivity and my open mind and continue to read the book.

As for the everlasting debate on which comes first, spiritual or material, I just would like to add my two cents worth: perhaps the ’spiritual’ people put spirituality first, because they have not much of material in the first place… Perhaps that’s why the first disciples of Jesus were fishermen… And again the ‘rich young man’ in the gospel ‘went away sad’ when Jesus asked him to sell all his possesions and follow him.

Enough for my bigottery, narrow-minded, one-sided, unfair accusations…

Last Sunday, I listened to the recordings I made during the CSA Investiture when I ran as the president. I listened to the speeches, and especially my own speech.

It made me sad, because at that time I was very passionate about ministry / service. I used phrases like "If there is any particular group of people that I would like to devote my time and energy to, that would be CSA" and "Let Love be sincere". Looking at myself now, I feel that, the ‘fire’ is quenched out. I just ‘lose’ it.

What made me thinking was that this is just one of the many examples which I lost my passion in, in fact I have lost my passion on many of the things that I used to think complete my life. Religious practices, Industrial Attachment, Scientific Research, and some other things that I used to put my whole enery, my time, my over-flowing juice of creativity. Perhaps the best phrase to describe it is "I just lose it".

The only thing that remains kindled in my heart is martial arts. Aikido trainings just simply ‘turn me on’, one to one coaching with a junior, imparting my secret techniques and my spiritual insights, the excitement and at the same time, the calmness during a free sparring, browsing the library for good books / videos on techniques, 100 shomeunchi (vertical cut) with my bokken (wooden katana), or even simply doing irimi tenkan (body evasive movement) before I sleep.

I do fear that one day, it too will die off like the things I mentioned above…

It is interesting to note that when I ran for presidency, I was already the vice-president of the aikido club. I said in my speech "For me, aikido is a hobby, but for CSA, I cannot say that my hobby is Jesus. It is the people that I want to serve". Then my brother asked, could you pin point when the period that you lost the interest in service and grew more interest in aikido. Then I answered, perhaps when I discovered the spiritual path in aikido (and in martial arts in general).

I would like to quote my ex-roomate during JC who quoted another person who said, "pessimism is not the hallmark of maturity". Hahaha. Somewhat I feel like a jaded old man. (my sis-in-law, clare once said that I behave like a 40 year old man).

Anyway, do not worry, the post might sound much sadder than my actual condition, so hahaha, I am still quite cheerful.

As for ministy / service, I am looking forward to the old-folks home visit this saturday. We are basically not doing something great. I just want to see whether I can still enjoy it, or totally disgusted by it. hahaha.

Well, for you all, I wish you all that life will be kind to you; that you may find a particular vocation that you can pump everything that you have, your body, your mind your soul into it; that you may find the person that you can embrace with everything that you have, your body, your heart, your mind. God speed.